Still on this whole "Friday is Longer than 24 Hours" Topic.. So far today after intensive research and study, the empirical evidence is piling up. Friday does seem to already have extended well past the 24 hour time period and it seems blatently obvious to me that it will get to the theoretical 115 hour mark!
Ill keep you posted as I continue to struggle through this time warp!
Friday, May 28, 2004
Fridays - Time Vortex or Masochistic Nightmare?
Yet again, it is friday! Yes, its true..would I lie to you? Well maybe..but I digress. How many times have you mumbled to yourself "Thank God its Friday?" I know I have many a time. Making it worst is the appearance of Friday Time vortexs consuming everything in its path. For some unknown scientific reason, friday afternoons last for approximately 10 times longer than any other weekday.
With this in mind, and the fact that a week is a set period of time (7 X 24 hours) how can this be possible? Well the answer is extremely simple.. Either the other non-friday days are shorter (which after suffering through many a weekday can strongly contest that this is utter dribble) or the weekend days are shorter!!
Now this makes perfect sense, how many times have you said "Why is the weekend so short?" So.. if the weekdays are longer (but friday 10 times longer than any other weekday) and the weekends are shorter..
Given the following assumptions:
Friday is 10 Times a Normal Weekday...
Weekday is 4 times as Long as Saturday/Sunday...
Week can be no more than 168 hours...
So.. if x is a unit of measurement..
Weekday = 4x
Weekend = x
Friday = 40x
Ok now we are getting somewhere...
x = 168 / 58 (Total Hours Divided by Total Units)
x = 2.89 (rounded)
So in conclusion...
Weekdays are 11.58 Hours Long...
Saturday is 2.89 Hours (and so is sunday)
And Friday is 115.6 Hours Long! No wonder today is a time vortex!!!!
With this in mind, and the fact that a week is a set period of time (7 X 24 hours) how can this be possible? Well the answer is extremely simple.. Either the other non-friday days are shorter (which after suffering through many a weekday can strongly contest that this is utter dribble) or the weekend days are shorter!!
Now this makes perfect sense, how many times have you said "Why is the weekend so short?" So.. if the weekdays are longer (but friday 10 times longer than any other weekday) and the weekends are shorter..
Given the following assumptions:
Friday is 10 Times a Normal Weekday...
Weekday is 4 times as Long as Saturday/Sunday...
Week can be no more than 168 hours...
So.. if x is a unit of measurement..
Weekday = 4x
Weekend = x
Friday = 40x
Ok now we are getting somewhere...
x = 168 / 58 (Total Hours Divided by Total Units)
x = 2.89 (rounded)
So in conclusion...
Weekdays are 11.58 Hours Long...
Saturday is 2.89 Hours (and so is sunday)
And Friday is 115.6 Hours Long! No wonder today is a time vortex!!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Trunk Monkeys
Was sent these rather amusing Windows Media Files by a Friend (thankyou Mattius) the other Day featuring "Trunk Monkeys" and I thought to myself - "Why the Hell do I not have trunk monkeys in my Theory Of Monkeys Compendium?"
I mean I have to say I have never ever heard of trunk monkeys, but damn I want one! Along with my very own Ebola Monkey to send on house calls to people I dislike!
But I digress!! Check em Out!
AntiTheft Trunk Monkey
AntiRoadRage Trunk Monkey
Thats my update, have a great day!
I mean I have to say I have never ever heard of trunk monkeys, but damn I want one! Along with my very own Ebola Monkey to send on house calls to people I dislike!
But I digress!! Check em Out!
AntiTheft Trunk Monkey
AntiRoadRage Trunk Monkey
Thats my update, have a great day!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Coding For Minority Groups
Our society is run by minority groups, lets face it.. If you are a minority you can do whatever you want..run around dacking people in shorts, take a dump wherever you choose and basically sail through life demanding that society must change to accomodate you.
The same can be said for development. How many times have you had to do something ridiculous just to appease some minority that cant handle the complex task of clicking a mouse, or navigation a basic website.
I mean, FFS! How hard is it? You dont need a degree in rocket science to be able to stumble your way through a website. Yet these twats decry that all web sites should be suitable for dimwits with a lower IQ than your average toddler. Well to that I say How does get Fucked Sound?.
My new Movement GAMGIRR (Geeks Against Minority Groups Imposing Ridiculous Requests) aims to stamp out this rampant stupidity! We accept cash, checks, travellors checks and whatever else you want to hurl in our general direction.
The same can be said for development. How many times have you had to do something ridiculous just to appease some minority that cant handle the complex task of clicking a mouse, or navigation a basic website.
I mean, FFS! How hard is it? You dont need a degree in rocket science to be able to stumble your way through a website. Yet these twats decry that all web sites should be suitable for dimwits with a lower IQ than your average toddler. Well to that I say How does get Fucked Sound?.
My new Movement GAMGIRR (Geeks Against Minority Groups Imposing Ridiculous Requests) aims to stamp out this rampant stupidity! We accept cash, checks, travellors checks and whatever else you want to hurl in our general direction.
Perpetual Motion or how rocket ships fly.
You thought you had it all worked out didn't you?
Question: If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will always land butter side down. But when you drop a cat it will always land on its feet. What would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped both?
Answer: Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat cannot land on its back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right! You have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter -- providing lift -- or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships within planetary systems. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred cats.
The one obvious danger, of course, arises if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs. In this case they will instantly plummet. Naturally the cats will land on their feet but this generally doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their landing several tons of red-hot starship and irritated aliens crash on top of them. Actually, feline starship-propulsion technology is a little more
sophisticated than that these days. If you spin a cat with buttered toast on its back in a gravitational field, the entire bi-stable assembly will keep rotating indefinitely due to the alternating gravitational attraction to the cats' feet and
the butter.
Giant arrays of thousands of cattoast modules rotating at high speeds are used to generate large amounts of electricity while the starship is within the gravitational field of a planet like Earth. That electricity is then used to heat large kettles filled with water.Ordinarily, all that heat would soon cause the water to boil. But applying the well-known "optithermal" principle that "a watched kettle doesn't boil," a specialized "watchcat" is strategically positioned to
stare at the kettles for extended periods of time. Of course, the water continues to absorb extraordinary amounts of latent heat, far beyond that which would be required to make the water boil under unwatched conditions.
Then, when the engineer determines that power is needed, a hood is dropped over the cat's head so that the ultra-superheated water is suddenly put into an "unwatched" state and immediately starts to boil, releasing huge amounts of pent-up energy as steam which can then be nozzled through jets to propel the starship around the galaxy until it starts to run down and needs to find another planet with sufficient
gravity and water (as well as cat food and kitty litter, of course).
So now you know.
Question: If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will always land butter side down. But when you drop a cat it will always land on its feet. What would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped both?
Answer: Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat cannot land on its back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right! You have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter -- providing lift -- or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships within planetary systems. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred cats.
The one obvious danger, of course, arises if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs. In this case they will instantly plummet. Naturally the cats will land on their feet but this generally doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their landing several tons of red-hot starship and irritated aliens crash on top of them. Actually, feline starship-propulsion technology is a little more
sophisticated than that these days. If you spin a cat with buttered toast on its back in a gravitational field, the entire bi-stable assembly will keep rotating indefinitely due to the alternating gravitational attraction to the cats' feet and
the butter.
Giant arrays of thousands of cattoast modules rotating at high speeds are used to generate large amounts of electricity while the starship is within the gravitational field of a planet like Earth. That electricity is then used to heat large kettles filled with water.Ordinarily, all that heat would soon cause the water to boil. But applying the well-known "optithermal" principle that "a watched kettle doesn't boil," a specialized "watchcat" is strategically positioned to
stare at the kettles for extended periods of time. Of course, the water continues to absorb extraordinary amounts of latent heat, far beyond that which would be required to make the water boil under unwatched conditions.
Then, when the engineer determines that power is needed, a hood is dropped over the cat's head so that the ultra-superheated water is suddenly put into an "unwatched" state and immediately starts to boil, releasing huge amounts of pent-up energy as steam which can then be nozzled through jets to propel the starship around the galaxy until it starts to run down and needs to find another planet with sufficient
gravity and water (as well as cat food and kitty litter, of course).
So now you know.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Northern Exposure On DVD! and American Gothic - Comeback Kid!
How cool is that? For all you old enough to remember Northern Exposure, the oddball comedy about a small town in Alaska! Its finally out on DVD! After watching all Season One Episodes Back to Back, i wonder what the hell ever happened to that show?
And while we are on the topic of shit coming back from the dead!! American Gothic is being remade in movie form. The one season wonder will be released sometime between now and the end of time.
And while we are on the topic of shit coming back from the dead!! American Gothic is being remade in movie form. The one season wonder will be released sometime between now and the end of time.
Frames are the Devil!
I have finally decided I will start a global campaign to hunt down and punish anyone affiliated with, using or actively developing using frames. Like welcome to 2004 people! Frames violate the whole HTML construct and should be banished into the ether (along with dust bunnies, alf lunchboxes and StarTrek Memorabilia) For all eternity! What else has pissed me off today? Fricken visio the bigest piece of shit i have ever seen!
*grumbles, random incoherant mumblings*
*grumbles, random incoherant mumblings*
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