Scanners - The Definative Test

Ever bought a scanner from your local computer store and thought to yourself "What can I scan to test this mofo out?", I know I sure have. And no..it wasn't something average like a boring piece of paper.



What may you ask? Well thats quite simple. My little friend the sock monkey had a once in a lifetime experience of being jammed into a flatbed scanner and scanned over and over until he asked me (quite politely) to stop..



What does this prove? Besides the fact that you can cram a sockmonkey in a Scanner? Not much.
Maybe that I have too much time on my hands, or that scanner manufacturers should design their scanners to prevent injury to an innocent sock monkey who inadvertantly crawls into a scanner.

If You Can Read this Im Busy...

Ah yes, ye olde ThinkGeek Attire. There is no way on this earth that you can have too many ThinkGeek Shirts (unless you have so many it covers the earth..but I digress!)



Here I am modelling the borderline work attire shirt. Sure its kinda nasty, and some may say not very professional. Oh well, thats just the Kind of guy I am!

PocketSOAP

This is an Open Source [MPL] SOAP client COM component for the Windows family, originally targeted at PocketPC (hence the name), there is also a Win32 version that works on Windows 95/98/Me/NT4/2000/XP. The package includes a HTTP 1.1 transport for making HTTP based SOAP requests, however the transport is separate from the main SOAP core, so any other transports can be easily added. James Clark's excellent Expat XML Parser is used for parsing the response SOAP messages.

PocketSOAP

Instructions for Dummies

"Aim towards the enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Army rocket
launcher


"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army
training notice



"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. From 30,000 feet,
every
single bomb always hits the ground." - U.S. Air Force ammunition memo.



"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal



"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least
expect
it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." -
Army
preventive maintenance publication



"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal



"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Corps memo.



"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal



"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David H.
Hackworth



"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an
ambush."
-
Infantry Journal



"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay



"Any ship can be a minesweeper - once." - Anonymous



"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army
recruit



"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your buddies



"If you see a bomb disposal technician running, try to keep up with
him." -
U.S.
Army ordnance manual



"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed" -
U.S. Air Force flight training manual