Mark Vs The Spiders

Well anyone who knows me (and in fact some people who dont) will attest to the utter disdain I have
for Spiders. As a child I would routinely splatter the 8 legged bastardos all over my room, and in fact leave the dead bodies there to decay, and ultimately to serve as a warning to all other spiders. I also (and what kid doesnt) played around with spraying spiders with a can of bug spray just to watch them "squirm".



If i were keeping count, I reckon my stats would be pretty darn spectacular. I would be the equivalent of some sort of NFL Spider Squasher. ".




Well, after moving into my new house I think the Spider Squasher (patent pending) may be in for a fight.
Never in my life have I seen so many godforsaken spider webs. They are everywhere! All over the fences, over the deck, under the deck, around the sides of the deck. And some of the more upmarket spiders have even turned my garage into some sort of Spider Summer camp, with huge mansions all over the place.".




Now, hating spiders so much as I do I have systematically gone through and decimated their ranks starting with the house.
With 4 cans of industrial strength spider spray (ie. the shit that can kill and elephant at forty paces), a long ass broom for swatting, big ass heavy boots (for squashing) and my intuitive hatred for the fuckers. So far so good. Reports from the field are excellent. I have exterminated them from the entire house. Now for the deck and garage. Normal isnect spray here wont be any good. I need something toxic. Ponders - where can I get some depleted uranium shells?".




They reckon the cockroaches will inherit the earth? No bloody likely. Obviously they havent seen the state of my garage.
This weekend will be the ultimate grudge match. Who will win? Will Mark triumph? or will the Spiders keep their summer camp!
Stay tuned!!! Coverage is available on Foxtel mainEvent. Call your Provider for Details.

10 Days and Counting..

Thats right, another 10 days and I have to move my huge mass of shite from my current abode to my new crapshack. Damn, I had _almost_ forgotten how much moving sucks. Boxing the shit up, cleaning, moving the shit around. Its a masochists proverbial wet dream! Oh well. Shit happens. But then, there are definate bonuses to my new place. I have a double car garage. No more houdini efforts to squeeze my big ass car into a tiny ass carport. I can stretch out and park diagonally just for the hell of it.



And whats more, I will actually have broadband again. About fucking time too. I mean, don't get me wrong. For $5.95 a month dodo 56k dialup has done quite a good job, but damn..broadband is just so cool! I can't wait!



10 days and counting...