Public transport and the leg Spread Epedemic

You know what shits me about traveling on the trains (yes - I know this is a friggen long list of possibilities). Its those damn morons that chuck mega legspreads when sitting on the seat next to you.



A "normal" person (and I use that term very loosely) will sit on a seat with their knees pretty close together - you know, to give the other fucker sitting next to them room to exist in time and space. These twats think its their god given right to use up every single millimeter of space - while you are crammed up against the window.



I half expect a Doctor to turn up and start saying "Come on push! Almost there" and a baby to shoot out.



Why do they do it? Fucknose. Perhaps its some sort of ritual to fend off the evil wedgie gods, or maybe they think they are some sort of dope skatie dudes - or that they just plain think they are too cool for school.



Well I have a news flash for your Walter Cronkite - You Aren't!

I am Jason Bourne

Fuck the Bourne Supremacy is on again. If I see this movie one more time I might actually start to be believe that I am Jason Bourne (again). Now don;t get me wrong. This movie does rock. I mean - shit, he jumps between buildings and through windows and shit, and nails bad guys like its going out of style - its just that the limp dicked knobs at your local paytv company seem to think that by playing one movie hundreds of times ad nauseum - that we will proclaim them gods among men - and open our wallets and credit cards to pay for their next marketing masturbatory fantasy. Also known as Foxtel HD+..



So I'm left with a few options - (1) smash the shit out of the TV to prevent the nasty covert Ops from subverting my brainwaves (2) Become Bourne and go on some sort of kickass car chase and blow some meanies to the shit (3) Have some nasty ass flashbacks to my days as a spy - possibly involving some sort of explosions and shit (4) Change the channel.



Man - don't make me choose just one! Urge to smash growing..



I hate it when these bastards ruin movies like this for me, last time this happened was with the Lizzy Maguire Movie (no wait, did I just say that out loud) - Bah fuck it.. I don't care what you think! I liked it! Except gordo - that little wheeny made me want to smack him in the nuts with a croquet mallet

TV Has Gone to the Shit

What is it with all the shit movies (or even lack thereof) of movies at all on TV these days.



When I was a kid there was a friggen movie every night at 8:30 on weekends, even even some weekdays. Now what do we get? Fuckin reality tv. Seriously, how long is this bad case of reality TV herpes going to persist? I swear, I can gain more cultural insight and entertainment value watching my dog lick her own ass.



And shit, if its not another reality TV show its another bloody Crime drama. If I see another fricken CSI show - I'm going to snap. What is this obsession with crime? If you want to see crime so badly I'll come around and smack you around with an ugly stick. Hell, there is no end to what I would do to not have to watch some lameass crime drama again.



Is this what we have been reduced to? Reality tv shows (some retard singing, dancing, joining a circus etc etc) crime dramas (CSI Mount Druitt, CSI Elevator Inspectors unit) and now we have the next lame set of reality tv shows - hairdressers. Seriously - who the fuck wants to watch a tv show where obvious morons all vie for some supreme honour of being king shit of fucking hairdresser hill.

Another Week

I know! Not very creative - but hey! I only have a certain amount of creativity to be dispensed on a weekly basis, and to hell if I'm going to use it for a simple blog post. So deal with it!

Its been one of those weeks. You know the ones. Where it would have been a far more enjoyable experience to incrementally remove my brain with a salad fork then to deal with reality.

C'est la vie - or to put it in more familiar terms - shit happens.


Well, thats about all I've got to contribute to this big giant steaming cesspool of a blog. Stay tuned for more erratic, ill timed and strangely intriguing posts from yours truly.