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Thanks to DownloadGirl for this link! Its one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time (I havent been getting out much!) Check it out!!!!

Microsoft Plans Network Through Human Body

Microsoft has been awarded a patent for a technology that uses the conductivity of the human body to create a network. The patent covering transmitting power and data using the human body was awarded in late June and is a fascinating insight into the type of personal network we may all be using within a few years, in the words of a company which will almost certainly be one of the defining players in the evolution of human computing.



Microsoft's patent covers a technology that distributes both power and data to devices (e.g. a speaker, display, watch, keyboard, etc) coupled to the human body via electrodes. A pulsed DC signal or AC signal is used as the power source, and by using multiple power supply signals of differing frequencies, different devices can be selectively powered.




View the Article



View the Patent Application

Click Clack ...

Who in their right mind would design a general use walkway in an office, and cover it with WOOD? Come on, tell me! Anyone?

Click Clack, Clomp Clomp, Shuffle Shuffle ..... bloody hell, pick up your feet, or don't wear shoes.
There's an IDEA - wear SOCKS.

"Hi, new employee. Please remove your shoes and wear these socks when walking down our wooden walkway. Less annoying for the poor losers who were unfortunate enough to get a desk that backs onto the walkway".

Still living on a promise ........ Promise we will be closing up the "hole - also known as a gap in the wall looking like a doorway" sometime in the distant future.

There will be blood spilled ...............

Brain Defrag

Another day, another thought process. Sometimes i think my brain operates quite differently depending on various environmental factors, such as - number of dipshits within a radius of 15-20 metres, current carefactor quotient, number of crunchy wheatbix I had for breakfast, number of twat drivers I had to give the finger to on the way to work, and a variety of other dependencies of course.



My general malaise and malcontent obviously is also a factor, but sometimes I really wonder. I think my brain needs to be defragged. I have so much crap stuffed all over the place that my thought processes seem to take much longer and with far less dexterity then in previous years. Could it be my brain needs to be defragged? Anyone have a util?

Rateless Internet

Rateless Internet is an Internet transport protocol implemented over UDP, meant as a better replacement of TCP. TCP's legacy design carries a number of inefficiencies, the most prominent of which is its inability to utilize most modern links' bandwidth. This problem stems from the fact that TCP calculates the congestion of the channel based on its round-trip time. The round-trim time, however, reflects not only the congestion level, but also the physical length of the connection. This is precisely why TCP is inherently unable to reach optimal speeds on long high-bandwidth connections.



A secondary, but just as impairing, property of TCP is its inability to tolerate even small amounts (1% - 3%) of packet loss. This additionally forces TCP to work at safe and relatively low transmission speeds with under 1% loss rates. Nevertheless, our extended real-life measurements show that highest throughput is generally achieved at speeds with anywhere between 3% and 5% loss.

Rateless Internet Website

Geek Sleep Patterns/Geek Apathy

Yet again, another early start. I feel like someone has injected "NoMoreGaps" directly into my brain. After months and months of quasi normal sleep patterns I feel like a zombie. And why?



And then it dawned on me. With the emergence of an almost fully functional life lately, my ye olde Geek habits have started to slip. No longer do I stay up til the break of dawn, no longer do I spend 12+ hours a day in front of my console. Maybe my body is having troubles adapting?



Afters years of strange sleep patterns I had matured into quite an elaborate sleep pattern which basically involved staying awake until my body forced me to sleep. Of course this could be arraigned by the use of over the counter "wake up" drugs and caffiene (ever tried drinking 8 black stallions in 1 hour? Dont! *TRUST ME ON THIS* - see Theory of Monkey to see what incoherant babblings resulted from that..) but in the end your lying face down on a keyboard and thats all that matters.



And so the circle of life continues.. *fade to lion king music*

Captain Obvious

I have become a new Superhero. I am Captain obvious, and I have the power to point out the completely obvious for any given situation. I walk the streets pointing out obvious details like "Its raining" or "the sky is blue" or "Project managers are stupid" or even "An arts degree is useless". There is no end to what I can achieve.



I must only use my impressive super-haman powers to annoy!

Great Weather For Ducks *quack quack*

What is the go with Sydney Weather Lately? One week we have the hottest October Day on record of a hair over 38 degrees celcius, and now we have 15 degrees and raining? Am i taking crazy pills here?



It wouldnt be so bad if I could actually see some ducks. But nooooo. Not a duck to be seen. If its such good weather for them, then why arent they all over the place? huh? Answer Me!



Be very very quiet, im hunting Quackers...

Gen X Marks the Spot

Heres one very very very kickass article..



Check it Out!




Exerp: (c) Matt Rodgers

Call them slackers at your peril. Chances are good that somewhere in your company there's a generation X employee who wants your job . . .

It was only a few years ago that many baby boomer IT executives were planning to retire early. The late 90s were heady days, and there was much talk of cashing in stock options and escaping the rat race while still young enough to enjoy life - maybe travel, maybe write a book or maybe do some fishing.

Not any more.

I'm not going to Sleep til I finish my Pyramid...

Its 2am. Silence, besides the faint theme music from the game "Pharaoh" filtering through the still night air. Sleep is not an option, I'm halfway through building a pyramid and I will be stuffed if I'm going to leave at such an important stage of the game.



Time passes.. How long can it take to build a fricken pyramid I ponder.. The little plebs are milling around moving more and more stone onto the rising structure.. Microsleeps are taking over. Even the caffiene isn't even working anymore. My goal is clear however! Finish the pyramid and I can go to sleep.



More time passes. Then some more.. and so on and so forth...



Huzzah! Finally the stupid crappy, POS thing is finished. Now I can go to sleep.. Right after I finish this level...



Damn you Pharaoh!

Look Ma! Im in Google

Try searching for mofoisms on google ;) My site is NUMBER 1. of one.. but
thats not the issue!



I'm number 1!!!! In your face space coyote!!


Google the Mofo

Alien Vs The Smurfs

After looking at another pathetic movie attempt a.k.a "Alien Vs Predator" I wondered to myself.. What would be a good match for the Alien? Then it dawned on me.. Armed Smurfs..



Ok.. quiet in the back! No I havent gone insane, and while I am slightly overdue for my compulsary monthly catscan I will continue to digress down my little meandering path of insanity.



Can you imagine, an armed militia of covert ops style smurfs. Complete with big guns, rocket launchers and whatever else (maybe axes to continue along with the current smurf technological era). The Alien wouldnt stand a chance. Once those little blue f_ckers start chopping they dont stop. I mean.. hell.. if they can handle gargamel I will back the little champs. Ill put 50 smackers on the table right now.



No I know there are some people that would say I am betting on the smurfs because (on occasion) I have actually believed I had the power to morph into a smurf. Now while this may be(read: definately) is an ability of mine, and I do know all the words to the smurf theme song I am definately an impartial party.



Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending.

Junk Proportional Theory

"DNA is a quaternary code, since at each point, there is the possibility of one of the four different acids (a, c, g or t) being present. Since the genetic sequence only needs to make up 24 chromosome parts, only 3 bases are needed (not 8, as in computers) - 42 only gives 16, so 43 is required, giving 64 combination options. That means there is a lot of "unused space" (40 unused points). At present, scientists fondly refer to this as "junk" but its use will no doubt be found in time."



Whoah you say, have I stumbled into an online copy of "New Scientist". And before you flee screaming in terror I do have a point. Whilst contemplating the meaning of the universe today I have stumbled across some interesting theories on the amount of useless shit in our little universe.



Its everywhere, even in our very DNA,its in our workplace, in our daily routines, and especially in TV. As such I have a new Theory. Its Marks Patented (Patent Pending!) "Junk Proportional Theory". Proportional to what I hear you ask? Proportional to the rational space within which it is located - thats where!



My theory dictates that for every spatial environment there is a proportional amount of useless molecules made up into an array of equally useless (and even annoying) particles of even more irrational and idiotic lifeforms or inanimate objects. These entities are basically provided by the universe as a means of balance where the Junk Entities counteract the forces of the logical entities.



Most often thismaterialises into such tripe as "Survivor" the TV Series (or pretty much any reality TV shows), project managers, business analysts,anyone with an Arts/Psycology Degree, Dog-Clothes, gnome toilet brush holders and other totally ludicrous entities..



There is plenty of empirical evidence all around us. its only a matter of time before I manage to figure out how this relates to the theory of monkey, and the theory of bear (and what evil overtones could be contained therein)..so for the moment it is a theory in isolation. Boo hoo.

Classic Games: More Addictive?

Yes, its finally happened. I bought a few "old school" games online that i used to play yonks ago and having laid my hot little hands on them yesterday I proceeded to play "Pharoah" non-stop for around 5 hours.

Now fairly similar to when you leave a PC monitor on for too long without a screensaver, i believe I may now have images from Pharaoh burned into my retina. Oh well, I could think of worst things that could happen.

For some strange incoherant reason I don't seem to have the same enthusiasm for some of the new fleet of games. Classic though still seem to be highly addictive. games like Pharoah/Cleopatra, Warcraft II, Transport Tycoon and Starcraft just seem to be so more enjoyable to play than new games like Warcraft 3. Who the hell knows why. At least the old games are cheaper. Ahh the circle of life.

billycorgan.com

Howdy Howdy, Looks like Billy Corgan (as if you dont know who he is!) Has himself quite a cool little blogski Online! Really worth a read. Go Billy!

billycorgan.com

Geekdom: When is enough too much?

Was sitting here pondering whilst basking in the early morning light (it burns..arggggg) and contemplating what kindof "screen time: if you will i spend doing geek related stuff with computers, electronics, human cloning or blasting across the alkalai flats in a jet powered monkey navigated device of some kind.



And it dawned on me... I dont spend nearly as much time as I once did... is it possible i have had some sort of geek burnout, too much code and not enough human interaction. This is indeed a possibility. Maybe there is some sort of hard limit in my brain for how many total characters of code i can write before it just shuts down.



Who the hell knows! (or cares for that matter). My preemptive malcontent seems to have expanded (like a borg) assimilating all in its path. You will be assimilated.



I bid you adieu.

Computer Interaction: Natural or Just Plain Wrong

Well Im back! Did you go somewhere I hear you ask? Well as you might have guessed from the lack of excrement eminating from this vainglorious crucible I was on leave for a week! A week? Holy Batshit Batman thats insane! Me? Take Holidays? I know the very thought is somewhat laughable *ha ha* But its true.



But wait, there are even more startling revelations. I didnt touch a computer in almost 7 days! And from that little experience I have started thinking about human/computer interaction. Now its my time to digress on an inevitable tangent..



Feels somehow strange to be using a computer again..almost unnatural! I mean, after all are humans really designed to interface continually with computers. I mean after all, were computers around when we were designed (by god, aliens planting seeds on an infertile world, darwanism a.k.a "stinky monkeys" or just plain morphed from ameobas? The answer is no. Though, after all humans did design computers, but are the interfaces they provide merely the best possible interface, or just the cheapest and easiest?



Thinking more about this and all the possibilities, I wonder why the hell I should give a damn. This post is over. Exeunt.

Early Starts: Belated or Overrated

Here i am..its before 8am and Im at my console wondering what the hell im doing here. I mean hell, i could be sleeping right now. Then the thought occured to me.. Is it huma nly possible that I enjoy early starts?



Lets look at the cons. Noone is here for one, its quiet as well a crypt (not that im a subject matter expert on crypts - I digress) there is noone to bother me! The Latte sipping, buzzword slanging, voicemail leaving gang of project managers, business analysts and other miscreants are still sound asleep. Traffic is better thats for sure, and generally speaking I am as technically close to being awake and asleep at the same time. The general miscontent hasnt set in yet, and while im not overly happy to be here, its almost - bearable. Of course with the passing of the day it will hasten a growing lack of carefactor - but that is to be expected.



Meanwhile Im going to sit back, slowly savor my mocha caramel latte and stare into the abyss! Good day to you!

Rabid Diplomacy

How many times has someone pissed you off so much that you have thought you would just snap and go nuts - like for example smacking someone with a chair, defaming them in a very very public place or maybe sending around the moose for a little "one on one" time?



I really dont mind people that take offence, damn its your god given right. What I cannot stand is people that bottle up shit and just act like utter pricks until the end of time. Theres an old saying.. Build a F**king Bridge People! Acting like utter pricks sends my personal evaluation of your character down by at least 50 Shithead points.



Did I piss you off? Let me know. Kick me in the shins, call me a moron and get it off your chest. Honestly, is that so hard! Hell I would even settle for some good old retribution, revenge or whatever. Its all good!

Memories are Designed to Fade

While im on a tangent here I might as well post one of my original works from about 5 years ago now, written in that somewhat disenchanting period between University and Real Life (now theres an oxymoron).



Caught on the neverending train journies allowed my mind to wander into a somewhat decadent world of visions and dreams. Funnily enough this is where I penned most of my earliest work. Forgive the title - it has overtones from a Savage Garden song





I sit and stare, on a crowded train;

People pass me by, the empty stares.

A thousand faces all cloaked in secrecy.

A quiet rhythm of eternity, of absolution;

an endless parade of illogical perceptions and glances.

I feel alone, outcast;

set aside from the ebbs and flows of what is, what must surely be the world around me.



My mind wanders in ever widening arcs of my subconscious.

Resistance is futile, as my thoughts are
arraigned by the world of dreams and visions.

That’s where you come to me, your pristine image dances before my eyes. I cant turn away,

I cant speak.. I am caught, enthralled by your beauty;

I cant escape. The world around me slowly slips from view...



Your voice whispers sweet nothingness in my ears,

it fills my mind with images and draws me further from the world and into your arms.

Your face is etched in my mind, wherever I turn I see you.

I look into your eyes and lose all sense of reality, all the truths I have relied upon are
shattered with the honesty I see in your eyes.
So pure and true, I am swallowed by their beauty;
In a moment of passion, my lips meet yours.

Soft as velvet, sweet as nectar..


A moment in time, captured for all time.

Locked in the memories of those who shared the perfect moment. Images and thoughts raced
through my mind.

A moment of true perfection, my world was complete, was pure.

The troubles of the world passed away as we held each other close. It feels so good. So real;

I close my eyes...



Time passes.. perhaps a moment.. or an eternity.

I open my weary eyes and am thrust back to the world I longed so much to remain apart from.

I longed for the moment to come back, to rescue me from the dull existence in the merry go
round of the modern world.



I sit and contemplate. My thoughts are filled with you, and nothing else. Memories of the
perfect moment flood back to me..


I close my eyes once More, and pray that you will steal me into the world of dreams...



Copyright 1997 - Me!!